3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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