party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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