I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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