Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
