Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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