I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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