Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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