she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
