guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
