I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
