ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
