I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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