She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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