People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
