I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
