I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
