Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So. Much. Porn.
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