i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
