Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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