Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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