We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
