its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
