i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
