just come out here and I will go home with you...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
