if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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