I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
