i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
