Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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