Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
