Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
