She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
