Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
