at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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