1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Everclear isn't food dammit
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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