doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
