When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
