Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
