I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
