omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
