U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
