before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
