Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
