just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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