he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
