I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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