I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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