if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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