I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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