maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
