thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
